“Q”: I've been with my boyfriend a year & I'm questioning the future of it. I'm outgoing, spontaneous & free-spirited. He's reserved, organized & a home body. We balanced each other out at first but now it seems to be a problem. We argue & I understand his points, but he doesn't get mine. Sometimes interacting with him becomes an annoyance or maybe it's me changing… Idk but we are supposed to be moving out together but his move in date has been delayed because of our problems… Help please…
“A”: Look, not too be too forward, BUT I think it’s time for a change. Moving in with someone is a BIG step, and from your question, I personally don’t think the two of you guys are ready for that. As in if you are annoyed WITHOUT living together, you’ll most certainly be annoyed living together. I understand his differences balance you out, but you have to ask yourself, if being with him is helping you GROW???
You see A LOT of the time we stay in relationships because we are comfortable and “balanced.” We seldom are pushed to grow by our significant other to become the best version of ourselves and that is what matters most….
Soooo when making this decision, you have you be REAL with yourself. DON’T think about him at all. Yes annoyances in relationships happen, but people also grow apart and it’s up to you to use this time to reflect and to ask yourself a few things. Things like, am I growing into the woman I wish to become by being with him? Am I truly happy or am I just going through the motions? What is it that I TRULY want in a man and does he meet those requirements? Hell, what is it that I like about him that’s making me stay? ALL THOSE QUESTIONS ARE ESSENTIAL in deciding your next moves, because you only get 1 life sooooo your next move NEEDS to be your BEST move.
Think of it this way, things that are meant to happen, happen with EASE, there’s no question, conflict or concern because they are meant to happen. Now in your case the problem you two are facing are definitely a sign you should take heed to. Not saying the relationship needs to end, BUT moving in together should definitely be given more thought.
AS WELL AS WHAT YOU TRULY WANT AND WHAT IS BEST FOR YOU!!!
If you take nothing from this, take the fact that regardless of the time spent together and the relationship you two have built, you DON’T owe him anything and are not obligated to be with him. Meaning you don’t have to endure his annoyance or battle with someone who’s not trying to understand your points…. It’s ultimately not fair to you or your time.
Most time we know what’s best for us, we just sometimes need a push to remember…. THIS IS ME PUSHING YOU and reminding you that you deserve answers in your life, NOT the questions you continue to carry….
