“Q”: So me and my boyfriend been dating since September 2019...we still haven't went on our first date yet. We see each other once a month twice a month if we are lucky. He lives on the other side of town. I told him straight up that I want more time with him and says yes, but never makes the time for me. What should I do because I need love and affection...not just sex.
“A”: Damnnnnn sis, not gonna lie, he dun tricked you outcha cho cho’s…. Which means he basically is just using you for sex… He managed to have sex with you, but couldn’t manage to take you out on a date? and can’t manage to spend more time with you?? Like I need you to be 100000% honest with yourself on the relations you 2 have Because if a guy wants to make time, he WIL MAKE TIME no matter the circumstances. For instance, I once dated a guy that lived an hour and a half away from me, he would literally come see me after he got out of school spend the night(no sex) annddd go back to school the next day!! He did that because he wanted to spend time with me and wanted to show that he cared.
Noooowwww he eventually turned into a shit head, BUT you get my point, GUYS DO WHAT THEY WANT TO DO, sooooo if he’s not making the effort, it’s because he doesn’t want to. PLAIN AND SIMPLE
Now I get it, you like him and want things to work out, but if you take a step back from the situation and look at the facts, NOT the excuses and possibilities you’ve made up in your head for him. but look at the relationship as a whole, you’ll realize the hole you have fallen into. And I know it’s a hole you don’t deserve to be in. You say you need love and affection, he’s SHOWN you that that’s not something he can give to you, soooo you need to take the hint.
Stop questioning him, and repeating your wants to him and giving him the benefit of the doubt and making an effort and trynna figure out why you’re not enough and hell EVERYTHING you’re doing to salvage the relationship because YOU’VE DONE ENOUGH! Let him put forth some damn effort for a change and show you that he wants what you want! PUT HIM TO THE TEST SIS!! and if he doesn’t pass, you need to pass on being with him.
He’s not worth the trouble he’s causing you and it’s time you realized that the ONLY way you’re gonna get what you NEED(that love and affection) is if you STOP settling for those who can’t give it to you… Meaning you’ve identified the probable, NOW it’s time for you to come up with a solution that get you what you need…
You have to realize that this is YOUR LIFE and you have to make the best decisions for you and the life you want/need to live. Sooo with that, I encourage you to take this time to take a chance on making a change, because there is a man that will give you everything you need and MORE and you start by realizing that you deserve it….
