Q: Hi I am 14 and I am struggling with keeping up good grades and studying. I am depressed, struggling with my mental health and having issues. My household is toxic and sometimes I feel like ending my life. Can you give me advice in any way?
βA:β Hey there, first, I want to congratulate you on taking the first step of admitting that you are not feeling your 100% self and need some sort of assistance! Thatβs HUGE and commendable for your age. βNow, in regards to your questions, I currently have a brother your age and he was struggling with his grades, mainly because he refused to ask his teachers for help. He was literally FAILING most of his classes because he wasnβt asking questions. So to that, I would encourage you to ask your teachers for help. If your teachers arenβt willing to help, ask your counselor and if your counselor isnβt willing to help, FIND SOMEONE IN YOUR SCHOOL AND ASK FOR HELP, because when you ASK you RECEIVE and what Iβve also learned is that, you arenβt asking the wrong questions, youβre simply asking the wrong person. Meaning you are struggling like you say you are, ask for help and donβt stop until someone does. YOU ARE a student, a brilliant mind of our future and you deserve to receive what the school is supposed to give you in the first place, but the first step is continuing to ask or if you havenβt already, start to ask!
I know you said you are βdepressedβ but FROM THIS DAY FORWARD, YOU ARE NOT. Your words are sooooooo powerful so what you speak, YOU ARE AND WILL BECOME! I understand you may be feeling depressed, down and upset, maybe even stressed, BUT those are all temporary feelings and NOT FACTS about you and who you are. When Iβm feeling down, I do this Feelings VS. Facts exercise I came up with and it really helps! I say to myself,
I currently FEEL sad, overwhelmed and depressed, but the FACT is, I havenβt taken any time for myself. I am tired and need a break. (now you try) make sure you express how you feel, and share the reason why you feel that way.
By doing that, you acknowledge whats going on inside of you that way you are no longer holding it in and in the next breath you acknowledge the problem of why you are feeling that way. Once youβve identified the problem, you can do what needs to be done to solve it.
FOR EXAMPLE βI feel tired and drained and a little moody, but the fact is, I havenβt eaten anything today.β Youβve acknowledged/released the feelings of those negative thoughts and instead of blaming yourself, you reassured yourself that itβs not you, itβs just that you havenβt eaten. Which is a problem that can be fixed.
Which bring me to my next point. You are currently struggling with mental health because you are carrying toooo much. You are 14, this is the youngest you will ever be, RELEASE IT.
SAY IT WITH ME, βI RELEASE THE THINGS, PEOPLE AND FEELINGS THAT ARE WEIGHING ME DOWNβ
and you continue to say it until you no longer feel the things or the effects of the toxicity weighing you down. This goes for your family too! It is ok to release the toxic energy you feel when you are at home. Because if you donβt, it will continue to weigh you down and you will feel how you feel now.
Regarding ending your life, Iβve been there too. Had thoughts here and there, but I knew that wouldnβt solve any of my problems and the same goes for you. Your household will still be toxic and 14 year olds across the world will still struggle with their grades just like you. βSo why not stay here to be the change you wish to see? Stay here to get to the better/best part of life? Why not stay here to see all of your hard work and dedication pay off or at least receive the things youβve asked for??? RIGHT? So while you FEEL like ending your life sometimes, the FACT is it wonβt change anything and you will still have deserved to be here because you are here for a reason and sometimes you have to grow through things to figure out whyβ¦.
So go out and ASK for help; REALEASE what you are feeling; REASSURE yourself with facts; then get ready to RECEIVE everything you could possibly want and need. Remember,
NO MATTER WHAT, YOU ARE THE CHANGE YOU WISH TO SEE AND IN ORDER TO SEE IT, YOU FIRST HAVE TO BELIEVE IT
You are loved because I love you, XOXO Qri.
